I have decided to finally sit down for a moment and write down my thoughts and things from what I have learned from being in a long distance relationship. People have asked me what its like, why I do it, this being my first relationship-why did I decided to do it this way, How do we keep it working? How hard is it? and What have I learned in these last 14+ months of knowing Matt and 6+ months of dating him.
I get some of these questions a lot and just wanted to share my thoughts on them. I never thought in a thousand years that my life would be like this. God's hand has been on my life since the beginning and His perfect sovereign hand is designing my life and my story so amazingly I couldn't have thought it more perfect. I thought by the age that I am 25, I would have been married for 3 years, settled into wife hood, and starting my family with my hot model husband ;) Oh how the Lord has had different plans for me, and so grateful and thankful that he has.
Matt is my first relationship that I have ever had. I always wanted to save myself for that perfect somebody who I could share stuff with. I didn't wanna date just to date, or just date somebody because I think he looked good. I wanted to go into a relationship seeking the Lord's will and wisdom through it all, where I could potentially see this person becoming my husband someday.
When Matt came into my life, I wasn't expecting it, looking for love, and frankly was pretty content being single. I was enjoying my life. That all changed one June day in 2010. I am not gonna go into the whole story now, But I see how the Lord's timing is always better than mine, and knew that at the point in my life I was ready. I look back on my early 20's now, and see there would have been no way that I was ready for wife hood, mommy hood and marriage. I was to selfish, and just not ready. The Lord was still and is still doing things in my life for me to become more like His son Jesus, Molding and shaping me to become more like His son.
Why start my first relationship long distance? I never thought I could do long distance. I had always heard these horror stories of how they never work and how hard it is. I don't disagree with the hard part. Believe me, its hard and frankly it sucks. I would never wish this on my worst enemy, But I care so deeply for Matt, That I am willing to do this, I am willing to make this work, no matter how hard it maybe, and through lots of prayer and with Christ as the center of us. We are making this work. Its not always rosy, there are still lonely Friday nights, when both of us are alone in our separate states, wishing we could be together, but we make it work, We watch movies "together" by playing the same movie simultaneously and text each other throughout. Thats fun. We make it work. People told me not to do this long distance thing, it wouldn't work, was I crazy? What was I thinking to start actually liking a man who is in the military and wouldn't be here all the time? These thoughts were in my head as M and I starting talking the 7 months we got to know each other and before I agreed to date him. When M asked me to be his girlfriend, I at first told him I needed some time to think, I needed to pray and pour out my heart to the Lord about my concerns about all this and did I really wanna do this? I prayed long and hard about this, my feelings for him were so strong, But I wanted to make sure this is what the Lord wanted and not just me. Obviously, I said yes, and we both knew it was gonna be hard, just maybe not THIS hard. But we are making it work..whether its by movies together, sending cards in the mail, little care packages, texts throughout the day..whatever it is..we make it work.
I feel like doing long distance makes us appreciate one another more. The face to face time that we have together is so few that we TREASURE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT we have together, and do things together, We may do stuff that the other may not like as much, but we do it anyway because we wanna be together, compromise. We communicate a lot, obviously, because that's ALL we have. We are forced to talk all the time. And express how we are feeling that day, the stresses and try and give each other encouragement as we go along. We pray for one another daily. Most of all this relationship as drawn both of us closer to the Lord. As we both pour out our hearts to Him, telling our perfect Master how we feel and the desires of our hearts, and soaking in the promises of His word. Remembering He has us both in separate places for now, and we need to glorify Him where He has us NOW. Separately, for now.
This is just a little glimpse of what I have learned in this long distance relationship I am in. I treasure Matt and the friendship we have, the deep appreciation I have for him, his leadership in this relationship, and the reminders he gives me that the Lord has us separate for now, and to continue to trust in His faithful Promises. He is the leader of us, We just need to trust and he will show the way. On a good note, the countdown of us being in the same place together is dwindling! I have just about 2 weeks before I fly down to see him, and then Lord willing 4 weeks after that he will be able to come see me here back in Wisconsin. I will keep you posted on us. I am thoroughly excited about us, and what the Lord is doing in us. He is blessing us both separately and us as a couple. And He is faithful and good.
Happy Weekend.
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