...And I am trying to adjust to life without Matt again. He left this morning, and I am feeling very down and sad like I do every time He leaves. But I am trying to remember that this IS the VERY LAST time we have to say goodbye. Because in almost 8 weeks(crazy!) I will be marrying him! The next time we see each other is in 7 weeks. He will get here a week before the wedding. Our time together was simply amazing, as is every time we are together. We made more great memories, had super amazing conversations, and had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas together. We hit up Dave and Busters in Milwaukee a couple times, not to mention won some amazing prizes; Went to Mayfair, ate at the wonderful Cheesecake Factory, saw some movies, did some marriage counseling, stayed up way to late laughing with each others families, bought our wedding rings, met with our deejay, settled on videography, did honeymoon research, and barely squeaked in some sleep. It was wonderful, and now I am thoroughly exhausted, ready to get some good sleep.
Over Christmas our family celebrated another engagement! My older brother got engaged too! So now there will be 2 Miller Kids getting married in 2012. Matt and I are old news now ;) It shall be interesting, its strange to think that I won't be here for most of the planning and hub bub and excitement that goes along with planning a wedding. Its also sad that I wont be able to make her wedding showers and such. But I know that the Lord is directing me on where I need to be and go, and so this is what I need to do. It crazy to think that my life is going to drastically change in about 8 weeks. That I will be a wife, no longer living in Wisconsin, living down south, with everything so new. I am beginning to get a bit nervous about it all, but I know that I just need to keep trusting in the Lord and his sovereignty through all of this.
Blessings to you all in 2012.
Matthew is coming home tomorrow. I have been anticipating this day for the last 3.5 weeks, or the last time I saw him. I know that 3.5 weeks is not really a long time, but to me, being engaged to a man that I love so deeply, and want to share my life with, and be with, it seems like an eternity. This distance thing seems to have gotten harder since being engaged, maybe because I know that there is definitely an end in sight, but it just doesn't seem to come soon enough.
Or perhaps its just the season of love and giving and I see all these couples in love, and I don't have the love of my life here with me. I don't know what it is, but all I know is that this is all part of what the Lord has planned for us for now and I will rest in that. That His ways are better than mine, and He knows and hears my cries.
But I am looking forward to leaping into Matt's arms at 3:30 tomorrow in the Milwaukee airport, and finally being together again, and enjoy our first holidays TOGETHER; our first of many. I still get butterflies and giddy anticipating his arrival. My stomach goes in knots and i get nervous. Just until I see him, and hug him. Then I am okay. I hope that feeling never goes away, and that in 30 years I still get like that at 6pm when I am waiting for him to get home from work.
While Matt is here, besides celebrating Christmas with our families, heading to Chicago for a day, and just enjoying each other; We are diving into our marriage counseling with a great Godly young couple who have been an encouragement in my life. He sent us some questions to talk over before we meet, and I have already been challenged and humbled. I am excited to learn deeper my role as Matt's wife, serving, and loving Matt. Talking and sharing about our struggles, sin and just encouraging each other, and reading the Word together. I am excited that we are doing this, I think that this will be so helpful for us in our marriage and understand each other better. I love Matt, and can't wait to grow old with him. To be his best friend, his encourager, his helper, and love!
Discovering daily who God really is,
Thanking Him daily He's mine and I'm His,
Discovering daily God's great love for me;
Such mercy, forgiveness, amazingly free.
Discovering daily that God really cares,
Discovering daily He does answer prayers,
Discovering daily what grace really means;
Unmerited favor beyond all my dreams.
Discovering daily God speaking to me;
He speaks through the Bible. Once blind, now I see.
Discovering, discovering each day that I live,
That all I need, He freely will give.
Discovering daily Christ working through me,
Accomplishing daily what never could be.
Discovering daily: I can't, but He can;
Thanking Him daily for my place in His plan.
Discovering daily how real life can be
When I am living in Christ and He's living in me.
Discovering daily a song in my heart
With anticipation for each day to start.
Delighting and basking in love so divine,
Secure in the knowledge I'm His and He is mine.
Besides mere contentment, excitement I see!
A daily adventure; Christ living in me!!!
Bonnie Hobson
