Last night I had a hard time getting to sleep and my brain was going 90 miles an hour thinking about the day and all the things that went on. It was a busy day with church-- a great and challenging message followed by Sunday School, Lunch with my mom's family for my grandpa's birthday, a much needed afternoon jog in the amazing weather, a few minutes with some friends down the block, and then an unexpected crazy night of nursery. (Normally on a Sunday night we have between 5-8 kids, last night we had 37), That got me flustered, Unexpected things like that make me a bit stressed, we were scrabbling for workers, and when I get flustered I laugh. I laughed a lot last night. It all of course turned out fine. Anyways, as I was laying in bed thinking about the conversations that I had that day; I felt like every conversation I had yesterday was about me. I kept saying to myself, "Stephanie, why do you talk about yourself all the time, you dumbo.." I felt like in my conversations in SS and with fellow church members, were about me and my life; my time with the family I felt like was about me--My short time with my friends I talked about--well--me. And once finally settled in the evening nursery, my conversations with Kate, my nursery buddy we talked about...me. She just got back from a trip, Why didn't I ask her about it??? Dumb. I have been feeling guilty about this, I asked the Lord to forgive me and now I am gonna try to NOT talk about myself as much anymore, unless some asks. I truly do want to hear other people, and not listen to myself, I want to pray for them and love them. My prayer this week and every week Is that I would listen and love, and shut up.
Nieners, this was such a good reminder to me. Thanks for your "realness" and humility to be up front about what God is showing you!
ReplyDeleteI remember a time - a while ago, and one that I need to revisit, when God showed me to battle this self-centeredness in conversation by preparing in advance questions that I could ask other - to draw them out.
Sometimes our tendency to talk on about ourselves comes from a lack of heart preperation in how to draw others out. It's good to examine the possible root sins behind this, but sometimes it't simply no knowing what to say. I remember sitting with pen and paper and imagining being with different people - what could I ask them? Writing down questions that would be appropriate for expressing interest, care, and maybe even draw out oppotunities for me to encourage them!
Love you Nie nie....
Thanks Kelly I REALLY appreciate your kind words and advice. Means a lot. I thank Him for showing me this as well.
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