...And I am trying to adjust to life without Matt again. He left this morning, and I am feeling very down and sad like I do every time He leaves. But I am trying to remember that this IS the VERY LAST time we have to say goodbye. Because in almost 8 weeks(crazy!) I will be marrying him! The next time we see each other is in 7 weeks. He will get here a week before the wedding. Our time together was simply amazing, as is every time we are together. We made more great memories, had super amazing conversations, and had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas together. We hit up Dave and Busters in Milwaukee a couple times, not to mention won some amazing prizes; Went to Mayfair, ate at the wonderful Cheesecake Factory, saw some movies, did some marriage counseling, stayed up way to late laughing with each others families, bought our wedding rings, met with our deejay, settled on videography, did honeymoon research, and barely squeaked in some sleep. It was wonderful, and now I am thoroughly exhausted, ready to get some good sleep.
Over Christmas our family celebrated another engagement! My older brother got engaged too! So now there will be 2 Miller Kids getting married in 2012. Matt and I are old news now ;) It shall be interesting, its strange to think that I won't be here for most of the planning and hub bub and excitement that goes along with planning a wedding. Its also sad that I wont be able to make her wedding showers and such. But I know that the Lord is directing me on where I need to be and go, and so this is what I need to do. It crazy to think that my life is going to drastically change in about 8 weeks. That I will be a wife, no longer living in Wisconsin, living down south, with everything so new. I am beginning to get a bit nervous about it all, but I know that I just need to keep trusting in the Lord and his sovereignty through all of this.
Blessings to you all in 2012.
Matthew is coming home tomorrow. I have been anticipating this day for the last 3.5 weeks, or the last time I saw him. I know that 3.5 weeks is not really a long time, but to me, being engaged to a man that I love so deeply, and want to share my life with, and be with, it seems like an eternity. This distance thing seems to have gotten harder since being engaged, maybe because I know that there is definitely an end in sight, but it just doesn't seem to come soon enough.
Or perhaps its just the season of love and giving and I see all these couples in love, and I don't have the love of my life here with me. I don't know what it is, but all I know is that this is all part of what the Lord has planned for us for now and I will rest in that. That His ways are better than mine, and He knows and hears my cries.
But I am looking forward to leaping into Matt's arms at 3:30 tomorrow in the Milwaukee airport, and finally being together again, and enjoy our first holidays TOGETHER; our first of many. I still get butterflies and giddy anticipating his arrival. My stomach goes in knots and i get nervous. Just until I see him, and hug him. Then I am okay. I hope that feeling never goes away, and that in 30 years I still get like that at 6pm when I am waiting for him to get home from work.
While Matt is here, besides celebrating Christmas with our families, heading to Chicago for a day, and just enjoying each other; We are diving into our marriage counseling with a great Godly young couple who have been an encouragement in my life. He sent us some questions to talk over before we meet, and I have already been challenged and humbled. I am excited to learn deeper my role as Matt's wife, serving, and loving Matt. Talking and sharing about our struggles, sin and just encouraging each other, and reading the Word together. I am excited that we are doing this, I think that this will be so helpful for us in our marriage and understand each other better. I love Matt, and can't wait to grow old with him. To be his best friend, his encourager, his helper, and love!
Discovering daily who God really is,
Thanking Him daily He's mine and I'm His,
Discovering daily God's great love for me;
Such mercy, forgiveness, amazingly free.
Discovering daily that God really cares,
Discovering daily He does answer prayers,
Discovering daily what grace really means;
Unmerited favor beyond all my dreams.
Discovering daily God speaking to me;
He speaks through the Bible. Once blind, now I see.
Discovering, discovering each day that I live,
That all I need, He freely will give.
Discovering daily Christ working through me,
Accomplishing daily what never could be.
Discovering daily: I can't, but He can;
Thanking Him daily for my place in His plan.
Discovering daily how real life can be
When I am living in Christ and He's living in me.
Discovering daily a song in my heart
With anticipation for each day to start.
Delighting and basking in love so divine,
Secure in the knowledge I'm His and He is mine.
Besides mere contentment, excitement I see!
A daily adventure; Christ living in me!!!
Bonnie Hobson
This is the current book I am now reading for my personal time with the Lord, and it also happens
to be the marriage counseling book that Matt and I are doing before we tie the knot! I have dug deep into this book, there are so many underlined pages and stars next to so many paragraphs! This book is incredible, and I truly believe that going through this book before Matt and I get married will be so helpful when situations and problems arise in our marriage. And under the counsel of a young Godly married couple to give their advice will be so very helpful!
I am learning so much about me, and my role as Matt's wife, and whose life this really is; that our marriage is about reflecting and glorifying Christ. I need to remind myself and remember that when Matt has wronged me, or has done something that maybe I think I could never forgive him for; I need to remember the cross, and what Jesus has done for me there. His faithful forgiveness that He daily showers and gives to me, when I don't deserve it. Time and time again. Yet, after and continuing to forgive me Jesus STILL loves me so much, forgives me, and still will be faithful to me.
I am learning to love Matt everyday as Christ loves me. I continue to try to explain to people just how much I love Matt. I never can put into words just how much I love him, or how much he means to me. I love Matt beyond words, would do absolutely anything for that man. Then I think about this is how Christ is with me. He loves me even more than I love Matt, and even sent His only son to die for me, the sinner that I am, shows His love to me daily, forgives me, and shows mercy to me. Unbelievable.
Showing and extending mercy to Matt in everything. I want to not only apply these things from this book to Matt and our marriage, but to everyone that I come in contact with. I want to overflow with mercy for everyone, show great love to everyone -- love everyone with that love of Jesus. I want to be like Jesus, in my marriage, and in my everyday life. This has been my prayer for so long, and I will try to continue to pray this for me everyday of my life, until He returns for me.
Today is Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I hope you are all stuffing yourselves with amazing food, and are surrounded by the ones that you love so much! I decided to jump on the bandwagon and do a blog post about the top 10 things I am thankful for right now. Of course there are way more things that I am thankful for, but for now I have decided to narrow it down to ten.
10. Peanut Butter M&M's. I love them, hands down the best candy.
9. Friends. The Lord has blessed me with so many incredible friends here in Racine, that I love spending time with, like random hang out times, and staying up way to late.
8.My Jobs. I am so blessed to have 2 amazing jobs that I love so, so much, and that are pretty flexible, and I can honestly say that I love going to work.
7. My Future Home. I was so incredibly blessed to visit my future home in GA this past week, and I am so excited about decorating it, and making it home. Matt did such an incredible job picking out a beautiful place to call OUR first home.
6.My Family. Their crazy, their weird. But they are my family and I love em!
5. The Holiday Season. I love the feeling of Christmas coming, the sales, the deals, and the late night store hours so I can shop whenever I feel like it
4. The Cross. The blood shed for me there, the forgiveness, the love. I am truly humbled.
3.Heaven. I am So SO SO excited to go and be with my Savior, to worship and glorify my Savior.
2. Matthew John Stevens. I am excited to soon call him my husband, my partner. He takes such good care of me, He loves me no matter what, he is always looking out for me, and he prays for me daily..I am honored
1.Jesus Christ. I want to be more like Him everyday of my life forever. I want my life to reflect Him in EVERY area. May my life glorify Him.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I just returned from my trip to Grovetown, GA; which will be in just a little less than 4 months will be my new home! It was a wonderful, amazing trip spent with my fiance that I love so very much, and I have come back even more in love with him than I already was. My heart just oozes love for him. I loved him so much before, but I love him a million times more now! I don't even know how thats possible, but I do.
Matt was able to take me around town so I could be at least a little familiar with things in the neighborhood, like the local Wal-Mart, the grocery store, and of course the mall! :) He even took me on base so I could be familiar sort of, with things there, what building he will be working in, and where the commisary and the exchange are. I was excited about moving down there before yet I was still very nervous and anxious about everything. But now that I have been down there and feel a bit better about everything, and seem to be at least a little familiar with stuff. I am very excited. Its a beautiful town, with nice southern folk, everyone so nice, and the weather isn't to bad either :)
Matt did and incredible job picking out a house for us to rent. It is absolutely beautiful. I love it. I am excited to make 562 Lory Lane our new home, and start decorating projects around the house, start cooking and baking for my husband, and eventually have guests and friends over to our home. I am excited to just live a married life with Matt, to be there with him all the time. To support him, love him. and just help him relax when he comes home from work on a stressful day. We were able to spend some really good quality time together. picking out curtains, enjoying meals together, shopping together, taking a walk together, and just enjoying a movie together. It was a wonderful time. I am so excited for what the Lord has in store for us. Only 3 weeks till we can be together again for the holidays! I hope it goes fast!
I thought I should update this blog since it has been awhile since I have updated on whats going on in my life.
Life has been going well, there are days when I wish I could rip all of my hair out, and then there are days when i just float. Part of these days of distress that I think I feel at times, being the fact that I have not seen Matt in almost 7 weeks, makes it hard. There are so many times that I wish he was here to go with me to appointments, help me with things, and just be the one to tell me to relax, even though he does that over the phone, I wish that he was here in person to tell me that, or even just get a great big hug from him at the end of a long day. But I look forward to seeing him in just over a week, when we can finally see each other again, and be us again. There is an end insight for this journey. I do know that. But to be honest, it still stinks, and I think that sometimes it makes it harder, when you are engaged, and we just can't be an engaged couple together. But I look forward to that day of us finally being together forever.
Life continues to go on with work, of both jobs, which will both be ending on the same day in February. On my days off from nannying, I make appointments for the wedding to meet with different vendors and such, which is tons easier when I am not dragging a 3 year old with me. Things are slowly but surely coming together for the wedding, I am so excited to see it all put into place, and for the ball to really start rolling on everything. I do manage to sleep every so often, and do fun things too, outside of wedding stuff. Like this weekend I am going to enjoy some time with some friends at a holiday parade and then just hang out for a bit afterwards. I am looking forward to that.
My personal time with the Lord has been good. I finished my book on Heaven which was incredible. Makes me even more; long to be with my Savior, to be without sin, to be in His presence forever, worshiping Him forever, O what a day that will be, Come Lord Jesus!!! I am now just waiting for my new book to come in that I am gonna be going through for our marriage counseling, and I am looking forward to what I will learn through all of that. My prayer continues to be that I would become more like Jesus, that I would become the wife that He wants me to be, that Matt would lead us in a Christ-like manor, that we would grow together, to serve, love and know Him deeper. Pray that with me too! Happy Tuesday.
Last night was my last night as a youth leader at Racine Bible Church; at least for now.
It was a very bittersweet night as I/we reflected over the last 5-6 years as I was in the
ministry. They had a little farewell for me with lots of cake, Nice kind words of eveidences
of grace in my life given by Michelle, Bethany, and my brothers. Such nice and encouraging
words, but all I want is Christ to be glorified in me, as I am just doing what He has called me to
do, and using my gifts for him, trying to show His attributes through me.
One of the leaders even made me a little scrapbook of memories through the years that I was
there, and most of the Middle School girls each wrote me a kind nice note of the impact that
I have had in their lives. It was also a worship night for the youth group, which I was glad that
was the way my last night ended. I love worship nights, Singing songs and worshipping the
one who gave it all for me, who deserves all the praise and glory. Then we wrapped up the night
with a time of prayer with our small groups. It was really nice. I am going to miss these girls, but
my prayer for each of them is that when I do come back to visit, I see them striving in the Lord,
knowing Him better, realizing the depths of their sin, and seeing the gift of grace that Christ offers;
and realizing the great work done for them on the cross. That is my hope, prayer, and desire for them.
I know that is the perfect time for me to leave the ministry, as I head into marriage and I get connected with other godly married women who will encourage me, and build me up, before
I head out and do this marriage thing. What a very blessed life I live. I am so grateful and thankful
for this journey of life that the Lord has brought me on, and the rich blessings of friendships that
were made through the youth ministry. My prayer is that the youth ministry at RBC will continue to flourish, that the Lord would bless it immensely, that the Lord will grant wisdom and strength to the leaders, and open the hearts and eyes of the youth. This is my prayer.
For the past week or so, I have been so amazed day after day at the free gift of forgiveness that Christ offers. The sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for me, the shed blood, for my sin, so that I may live eternally with Him. I am such an undeserving sinner of all the Christ gives me. Thank you Lord, I am unworthy to even come before such a Holy God. I am truly humbled....
"The LORD your God accept you. With what shall I come before the LORD, and how myself before the High God? Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, then thousand rivers of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has shown you O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?
We are all like an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are like filthy rags. There is none righteous, no, not one. For all of sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by HIS GRACE! through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set fourth as propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness,.....that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. Accepted in the Beloved. You are complete in Him!"
2 Sam. 24:23; Mic. 6:6-8; Isa. 64:6; Rom. 3:10, 23-26; Eph. 1:6, Col. 2:10.
I got this idea of introducing my bridal party from my maid of honor who is also getting married, who did this on her blog, and I thought it would be a fabulous idea! So here is my bridal party and a little bit about each of them and why I chose them to stand up with me on this special day.
Roshelle Murray--Maid of Honor--Roshelle and I have been really good friends since high school, and has been my closest confidant through all of this. I can share everything with her, I tell her everything. In fact, I think I do tell her everything. She is my shoulder to cry on when Matt's gone, my sister, my relationship counselor, my twin, my advice guru, my fashion consultant, my best friend. What I love most about Roshelle is her love for the Lord, and how she wants her life to reflect Christ in all she does. Not only do we have a lot of memories together, we also have one more to share together. Getting engaged on the same day, just hours apart. We have become closer within the last year or so, because she understands all about this long distance stuff as she deals with it herself. Roshelle is such a great friend, always when it comes down to it, points me to the cross. Reminding me to pray and take it all to the Lord. That is why I love Roshelle. I am honored that she said yes to be my maid of honor.
Bethany LaPointe--Lets call her Yenta. Or the matchmaker. She is the one who introduced Matt and I. She thought we'd be perfect together. Who would have ever guessed that she was right? huh? Both Matt and I were hesitant to do this whole blind-date-set-up-thing, but we did it per Bethany who said, "trust me, its all gonna be fine." And well, look at us now. I am thankful for Bethany for that and for many other reasons. She is such a good friend, who encourages me in many ways, she loves the Lord so much, and just is so darn funny. And not to mention one of the best cooks in town. I love Bethany, Thank you for going to high school with Matt, and setting us up together. I can never say thank you enough.
Liz Nielsen--Liz and I have been friends the shortest amount of time, compared to the others in my party, but I feel like I have known Liz for forever. I love Liz, and she is like my big sister. I have seen her grow tremendously over the last year or so. She is one of the greatest people I know. I appreciate her more than she knows for letting me crash over at her and her husbands house more than once on a Friday or Saturday night because I was lonely and missed Matt. She even allows me to call her child..My baby. I love her daughter Charlize. She's practically my child ;) She and Ross have been amazing, and I am truly gonna miss her and Ross so much. Thank you Liz for being such a great friend.
Cortney Andersen--Cortney has known me since middle school. Both she and her husband Chad were my youth leaders in high school and we have become close ever since. They moved away for awhile, but when they came back its like they never left. Cortney was my accountability partner in high school, always making sure I kept up in the word, and was a Christ like example to all I knew. As I grew older it become more of a friendship, rather than just a leader-student relationship. Cortney has never been afraid to tell me just what she thinks of things, and I like that about her. I love Cortney, and so thankful that she provided me with a job that I love so much of watching her 3 beautiful children. I am gonna miss her and the kids, and maybe Chad ;) immensely when I am gone.
Kelly Schulz--I don't know even where to start with Kelly. Kelly has been such an amazing self-less friend through these last few years, always wanting to know about my life, and hardly ever talking about herself unless asked. She is somebody I wanna emulate my life after. Such a Godly wife and mother. Always quick to seek the Lord's guidance in everything, encouraging me with verses and Godly advice. Her submission and obedience to Steve is something that I hope I can pull from Kelly with Matt. I am thankful for Kelly and all her wisdom and encouragement. I love Kelly.
Heather Bergman--Heather and I have been friends since the womb. She and I are 23 days apart. Heather is such a smart and practical friend, who has taught me some crafty things over these years.. which I have failed miserably at, and then she just makes me a better one. She and I have so many fabulous memories together since her parents and my parents are such good friends. Heather and I did EVERYTHING together when we were in middle school and high school together. On Fridays we would watch TGIF on TV (remember that?? ;) and then talk about our crushes, guess which one of us would get married first, and what type of guy we would marry. Heather is now such an independent woman living on her own and working as a nurse. Heather and I still get together when its possible with our crazy lives and reminisce about old times. I have loved watching Heather grow closer to the Lord this year which makes my heart so happy, and pray that she continues to do so for many years to come! I love Heather.
Thank you ladies for agreeing to be part of my special day. I look forward to celebrating with you all.
I am still reading and thoroughly enjoying We Shall See God by Randy Alcorn and Charles Spurgeon. As I read daily, God gets bigger, and bigger. I think my view of God was so small, and I am slowly but surely realizing the vastness of God, and His holiness. That He would send His holy, perfect, blameless son to die for such a wicked, unworthy sinner like me. In this book its all about Heaven and what a glorious place it is. A place that God has prepared many mansions for those who believe and trust in Him. I am excited to get to heaven someday, to be with my Savior for all of eternity, to BE WITHOUT SIN!!!, and to worship God forever with fellow believers from ALL over the world. Its an incredible book, where it has answered maybe some of my questions about Heaven with Scripture, and I have seen that God is a God of detail, and love. This is one quote from the book that has struck me that I just love. It is from a dying saint...
"There is one crown in heaven that the angel Gabriel could not wear; it will fit no head but mine. There is one throne in heaven that Paul the apostle could not fill; it was made for me, and I shall have it. There is one dish at the banquet that I must eat, or else it will be untasted, for God has set it apart for me."
Oh to be with Jesus forever, What a glorious day that will be!
I have been MIA for awhile I see. All for good reason as you know. Life is going at 90 miles an hour I feel like. But I feel like things are coming together, and things are going well. Wedding planning is well underway as I have just under 5 months and it will be here before I know it. Some day's feel like its so far away and other days I feel like its tomorrow. But I have the big stuff done, the dress is found, and purchased, the bridesmaids dresses purchased, the church/hall booked. Tuxes underway, flower meeting set-up, save the dates- in my hand, guest list made, invitations being designed, decorations being looked into/priced. So I have a good start on things and I know it will all eventually come together. I have some help so I am grateful for that. I have been so blessed with great friends, and bridal party helping me.
I am still working both jobs and doing wedding stuff between jobs;dragging Leah around with me to different appointments, and while she is in school I am also able to get some stuff done. I am planning on working till mid-February and then being done so I can just focus on wedding stuff. Lord willing, Matt will be able to come home a week before the wedding to help with the final details. We have a wedding party of 6 on each side, 2 ushers, 2 flower girls, a ring barer, and a partridge in a pair tree :).
I am learning a lot from other Godly women from what it means to be a wife, and how to handle different situations, and to leave, cleave and weave. I am studying Titus quite a lot, praying a lot to the Lord on my concerns and my shortcomings on being a wife. I wanna cling to the Lord, through all this, and make sure that He is still my central focus in everything. I wanna daily run to the cross and lay it all down there. I am praying that He works in me making me more like Jesus. I want be a Godly wife to Matt, a Christ like example to him, and be that support and encouragement that He needs. To do what the Lord has called me to do as his wife. I am a work in progress, but God's grace overwhelms me daily, and I am daily humbled by the cross and what was done for me there.
Lord willing, I will be able to fly down to GA the week before Thanksgiving to see Mattand the house, scope out the area that I will soon call home, do some more wedding stuff together, and just enjoy each other again. I look forward to seeing him again. I miss him so terribly, but I am excited to be his wife soon! The Lord has blessed me beyond what I could have ever dreamed. To God be the glory.
Its been awhile since I have posted. Life has been busy. Its been a crazy week. God is still and always will be good, and I live a good life.
I thought I would give an update on where my life is at, and the happenings of it. I back into the full swing of things with both jobs. Nannying is going great, it seems to be much simpler this year with only one child to take care of, rather than two. It is quite nice and pleasant to work, shop, and just get things done with just one child. Leah and I have a great time together telling stories, reading, shopping, writing to Matt, story times, and watching PBS. I am able to get a lot more done around the house without breaking up fights, or answering a lot more questions. Leah seems to be very good at entertaining herself, and playing with her stuffed animals while I finish dishes and clean. We already have had a play date, been to story time, and shopped quite a bit. She is such a trooper, and big girl. When I started nannying for them Leah was just over a year, and its been so fun to watch her grow, talk, and learn. She will be starting Pre-School 3 days a week starting in October which will be good for her, and I will be able to get things done alone, before I pick her up, and then her brothers later. I look forward to another great year with her as we learn and grow together.
I just "celebrated" one year at the salon. Seems so crazy that it already has been one year since I have been there. I thoroughly still enjoy it, and the perks of working there are amazing!!! I enjoy all my co workers, and business seems to be going really well. I have met some great clients over the last year, its been fun getting to know them. And have also built great friendships with some of the stylists while being there as well. I have had my low points as well, but the good definitely out weigh the bad. We are switching over some of our computer programs so I will be learning some new things, which I am a little nervous about, but I know the Lord is faithful to help me through this too.
Life with Matt is going so good. He is on his way to Wisconsin as I type this. I am so so so excited to spend a few days with him, and go out and enjoy each other again. I have missed him so much, and am so ready to be with him again.
My personal time with the Lord recently has had its dry periods and also its rich periods, I just finished the Elisabeth Elliot book, and now I have just started a book by Randy Alcorn on the works of Charles Spurgeon, called WE SHALL SEE GOD..devotional classics on heaven. I just started it today and am already loving it. I am so excited to be in heaven someday in the Lords perfect, sovereign timing, to be with the ones I love who have gone on before me, who are with the Lord already worshiping Him and are without sin!!! O what a glorious day that will be when I am without sin!!! I am so looking forward to that!! I am ready to worship my Savior, to live in the many mansions He has prepared for me! To dwell with Him FOREVER!!!!! O what joy!! My permanent home. O what a day that will be to be home forever! Until then, I shall keep my eyes focused on Jesus, on the cross, on the race set before me, Looking only unto Jesus Christ my Rock and Salvation....Death....the getaway to never-ending joy!
This is my life, now you are up to date! May you too, focus your eyes on Jesus Christ your Rock. Happy Weekend.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. " For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."
How precious...are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sun of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You. O Lord, how great are Your works! Your thoughts are very deep. Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works which You have done; and Your thoughts toward us.
Not many mighty, not many noble, are called. Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom? Having nothing, and yet possessing ALL things. The unsearchable riches of Christ.
*What an AWESOME God we have. I am so glad His plans are better than mine. Thank you Lord, for your sovereignty over all things*
Isa. 55:8-9, Ps. 139:17-18; Ps. 92:5, Ps. 40:5, 1 Cor. 1:26; James 2:5, 2 Cor. 6:10, Eph. 3:8.
Oh taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in HIM! oh, fear the Lord, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. His compassion's fail not. They are new EVERY morning; GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS!!!
O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; yes, I have a good inheritance. Whether....the world or life or death, or things present or things to come--all are yours. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.
I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Godliness with contentment is great gain. My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Ps. 23:5, 34:8-10, Lam.3:22-23; Ps. 16:5-6;1 Cor. 3:22; Eph. 1:3, Phil 4:11; 1 Tim 6:6; Phil. 4:19.
I just got back from my exciting trip to Texas to see Matt. It was an incredible trip filled with lots of memories together, some BRUTALLY HOT weather (102 degrees PLUS humidity) and just time to be us. It was such a blessing of a trip to be on, and I enjoyed every single moment of the trip. It was so good to see Matt again after 8 weeks of separation, and not being able to do things as a couple. We enjoyed a trip to Sea World in San Antonio, many dinners along the River walk in downtown San Antonio, trips to the mall, River boat tour, a late night carriage ride, a movie, and great talks about us, the struggles we share, the concerns we have and just encouraging one another.
It was a GREAT long weekend. I was able to see where he is staying, life on a military base, and shopping on a military base ;). I stayed in a really nice room that actually happened to be Matt's old room on base (must mean we are meant to be ;) and then had some down time to myself which was nice too, And also the plush queen bed to myself was nice as well. All in All such an amazing, awesome, fabulous weekend with Matt. So glad I was able to go and be with him just for a few days. Lord willing, only 4 weeks until we see each other again, when he swings up here before settling in GA.!!!! Happy Tuesday!
Lord, I give you thanks for that You in Your mercy have given me to be and to do and to have. Deliver me, Lord, from all greed to be and to do and to have anything not in accord with Your holy purposes. Teach me to rest quietly in Your promise to supply, recognizing that if I don't have it I don't need it. Teach me to desire Your will--nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else. For Jesus sake. Amen.
"I marvel at God's ways and how he chooses to reveal His mercy in ways FAR BEYOND our human comprehension..."
I have decided to finally sit down for a moment and write down my thoughts and things from what I have learned from being in a long distance relationship. People have asked me what its like, why I do it, this being my first relationship-why did I decided to do it this way, How do we keep it working? How hard is it? and What have I learned in these last 14+ months of knowing Matt and 6+ months of dating him.
I get some of these questions a lot and just wanted to share my thoughts on them. I never thought in a thousand years that my life would be like this. God's hand has been on my life since the beginning and His perfect sovereign hand is designing my life and my story so amazingly I couldn't have thought it more perfect. I thought by the age that I am 25, I would have been married for 3 years, settled into wife hood, and starting my family with my hot model husband ;) Oh how the Lord has had different plans for me, and so grateful and thankful that he has.
Matt is my first relationship that I have ever had. I always wanted to save myself for that perfect somebody who I could share stuff with. I didn't wanna date just to date, or just date somebody because I think he looked good. I wanted to go into a relationship seeking the Lord's will and wisdom through it all, where I could potentially see this person becoming my husband someday.
When Matt came into my life, I wasn't expecting it, looking for love, and frankly was pretty content being single. I was enjoying my life. That all changed one June day in 2010. I am not gonna go into the whole story now, But I see how the Lord's timing is always better than mine, and knew that at the point in my life I was ready. I look back on my early 20's now, and see there would have been no way that I was ready for wife hood, mommy hood and marriage. I was to selfish, and just not ready. The Lord was still and is still doing things in my life for me to become more like His son Jesus, Molding and shaping me to become more like His son.
Why start my first relationship long distance? I never thought I could do long distance. I had always heard these horror stories of how they never work and how hard it is. I don't disagree with the hard part. Believe me, its hard and frankly it sucks. I would never wish this on my worst enemy, But I care so deeply for Matt, That I am willing to do this, I am willing to make this work, no matter how hard it maybe, and through lots of prayer and with Christ as the center of us. We are making this work. Its not always rosy, there are still lonely Friday nights, when both of us are alone in our separate states, wishing we could be together, but we make it work, We watch movies "together" by playing the same movie simultaneously and text each other throughout. Thats fun. We make it work. People told me not to do this long distance thing, it wouldn't work, was I crazy? What was I thinking to start actually liking a man who is in the military and wouldn't be here all the time? These thoughts were in my head as M and I starting talking the 7 months we got to know each other and before I agreed to date him. When M asked me to be his girlfriend, I at first told him I needed some time to think, I needed to pray and pour out my heart to the Lord about my concerns about all this and did I really wanna do this? I prayed long and hard about this, my feelings for him were so strong, But I wanted to make sure this is what the Lord wanted and not just me. Obviously, I said yes, and we both knew it was gonna be hard, just maybe not THIS hard. But we are making it work..whether its by movies together, sending cards in the mail, little care packages, texts throughout the day..whatever it is..we make it work.
I feel like doing long distance makes us appreciate one another more. The face to face time that we have together is so few that we TREASURE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT we have together, and do things together, We may do stuff that the other may not like as much, but we do it anyway because we wanna be together, compromise. We communicate a lot, obviously, because that's ALL we have. We are forced to talk all the time. And express how we are feeling that day, the stresses and try and give each other encouragement as we go along. We pray for one another daily. Most of all this relationship as drawn both of us closer to the Lord. As we both pour out our hearts to Him, telling our perfect Master how we feel and the desires of our hearts, and soaking in the promises of His word. Remembering He has us both in separate places for now, and we need to glorify Him where He has us NOW. Separately, for now.
This is just a little glimpse of what I have learned in this long distance relationship I am in. I treasure Matt and the friendship we have, the deep appreciation I have for him, his leadership in this relationship, and the reminders he gives me that the Lord has us separate for now, and to continue to trust in His faithful Promises. He is the leader of us, We just need to trust and he will show the way. On a good note, the countdown of us being in the same place together is dwindling! I have just about 2 weeks before I fly down to see him, and then Lord willing 4 weeks after that he will be able to come see me here back in Wisconsin. I will keep you posted on us. I am thoroughly excited about us, and what the Lord is doing in us. He is blessing us both separately and us as a couple. And He is faithful and good.
Happy Weekend.
The Supremacy of Christ means turning over ALL the rights: to myself, my body, my self-image, my notions of how I am to serve my Master.
The will of God is ALWAYS different from what I expect, always bigger, and ultimately, infinitely more glorious than my wildest imaginings.
Faithfulness of a loving Father--that's what I have found, everyday, of every week of every year, and it gets better.
~ Elisabeth Elliot.
Psalm 52: 1a, 8b, & 9a
"The goodness of God endures CONTINUALLY"
"I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever."
"I will praise YOU forever, Because You have done it."
"All along, let us remember, we are not asked to understand, but simply obey......."
I was struck by this verse this morning, and I just love it. This is my meditation for today.
" But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."
Boast in the cross today.
This doctrine of the cross is sheer folly to those on their way to ruin, but to us who are on the way to salvation, it is the power of God...To shame the wise, God has chosen what the world counts folly, and to shame what is strong, God has chosen what the world counts weakness. He has chosen things low and contemptible, mere nothings, to overthrow the existing order. So there is no place for human pride in the presence of God...He is out righteousness; in Him we are consecrated and set free.
1 Corinthians 1:18, 27-30 NEB
I am enjoying a new book called, Keep A Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot. Its short chapters are so rich with good reminders of the gospel and what Christ has done for me and who He is. I have been reminded in just the few pages that I have read, that I serve the creator of the universe who is in control of all things and cares about the things on my heart and mind, I am daily needing to surrender to His will and not mine, because He is the one who knows best, even though I know that, yet can't seem to get in through my thick head, and just do it; To let things of this world control me, like money..give..the Lord has blessed me so abundantly, May I give back to Him.
Just a few things that I am reminded of and trying to make changes in my life, for without Him I am nothing, may abide in Christ daily, Surrender daily to His will for me, Be on my knees grateful and thankful for His abundant grace and love in my life for such a wicked sinner like me.
He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name.
Who is like You, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like You, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders? Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord; nor are there any works like Your works. Who shall not fear You, O Lord, and glorify Your name? For You alone are Holy. Hallowed be Your name.
Blessed is the Lord God of Israel, for He has visited and redeemed His people.
Who is this who comes from Edom, with dyed garments from Bozrah, this One who is glorious in His apparel, traveling in the greatness of His strength? I who speak in righteousness, mighty to save. I have given help to one who is mighty; I have exalted one chosen from the people.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.....be glory.
Luke 1:49; Exod. 15:11, Ps. 86:8, Rev. 15:4; Matt. 6:9; Luke 1:68; Isa. 63:1; Ps. 89:19; Eph. 3:20-21.
"I have heard it said that the people of God wither have the mentality of a battleship of a cruise ship. Both may sail, but they have very different purposes. The battleship exists for others. It is ready to penetrate the enemy's territory and do battle for the commander. The cruise ship exists for the comfort of its passengers. Luxury and comfort are the core values, and everyone seeks to make the journey comfortable and memorable."
Trevin Wax
Counterfeit Gospels
I have been thoroughly enjoying the book I am going through in my personal time. "A Praying Life"; it has taught me so much, if I could sum up how I am doing through all of this learning, reading, and trying to apply it would be...growing. I want to be more like Jesus, and I have learned that I need to shift my focus and thinking sometimes to do that. I am so grateful for my Savior and His daily guidance in my life. In the chapter today the author wrote some goal that he had for year. The goals he had were so amazing and I have decided to try to make them my goals now, stealing his ideas I guess. ;). I want to write them here and look back at this post every so often to see how I am doing. I pray that the Lord does a work in me with these goals.
1. Waiting and Praying
2. Listening; patience with people
3.Relaxing with People
4.Cultivate Humility
5.Quiet heart before the Lord
6.Prudence; dignity
7. Witness--unashamed of Jesus.
Pray for me. That I would be apply and do these things.
"But as you abound in everything--in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all diligence,....see that you abound in this grace also." 2 Corinthians 8:7
"Love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father is also merciful." Luke 6:35-36.
I have been meditating on these verses over the last 2 days. I am striving to be more Christ like in all I do, and these verses are so clear, and such a challenge...Loving my enemies, extending grace to ALL. I can do nothing on my own strength, Its is only through Christ that I can do anything. Lord, make me more like your Son Jesus Christ everyday. Keep my eyes focused on cross.
I hope that you all had a great Fourth of July. It was such a beautiful day here in Racine, and I had such a fun day. The weather was absolutely amazing. It was extremely warm in the sun, but once out of the sun, there was a nice breeze, and amazing. My extended family was in town, my moms sisters, and husbands and kids, so I have been doing a lot of things with family lately. A lot of food, and a lot of togetherness.
Yesterday we enjoyed the parade, and then lunch and a good swim at family friends house, and then all headed downtown for the fireworks, in a VIP section, for special food, and great seats to see them go off. By the end of the day I was completely exhausted and sunburnt to a crisp and now I look like a lobster., oh well. I shall have a nice tan by the end of the week.
Happy Tuesday.
